An Idle Mind...

Tonight I had the pleasure of walking with my lovely wife... we're trying to re-establish a healthy exercise routine that we haven't been able to stick to since moving out of Parkwood. I've been walking on the treadmill, but I'll take the upgraded scenery any chance I get... have you seen my wife?

So you can imagine my disappointment when she said she was going to "let me" finish the walk while she went in to get supper ready. On the one hand, I'm all about the supper part... we put the lasagna in the oven before we left and I knew we'd be eating well. But without her, I had no one to talk to (or more accurately, listen to).

Now you may think that last comment was a shot at her being talkative... but you'd be wrong. If  you've ever walked or run,  you know that carrying on a conversation while doing so can add a significant cardio component due to having to move that much more air. My lung capacity is pretty puny, so having someone to listen to works great! I keep my end up, but more importantly, it keeps my brain engaged in something productive.

Without her, my mind was left utterly vacant. I realized this after about 30 seconds... On the treadmill, I mindlessly watch Netflix. I have a couple of TV shows that run about 41-43 minutes, so it times out pretty nicely with my 3 mile distance goal. Absent the video and audio feeds, my mind was left to fend for itself.

So my first thought was literally "what should I think about?"

I considered reciting scripture, but that didn't work. I started with John 1:1, but couldn't get it quite right. I had seen it mentioned in a story in today's paper, about the oak tree that was sculpted into an eagle at St. John's Catholic Church. Then I got distracted by the dogs...

All the dogs.... it seems everybody on our little walking loop has a dog. I saw big dogs and little dogs, stray dogs and dogs behind fences... some I could see, some I could just hear. I was thinking about all the dogs, but then I heard a UPS truck...

That UPS guy drives up to a neighbor's house and leaves a package. As he's walking back to the truck, I hear the neighbor open the front door (he didn't wait) and say "thanks!". He asked if her last name was "Doe" and she said "yes", then he replied that he wasn't sure of the address... really??? Just left the package. Then he went down the street a couple houses and stopped again. This time he lays on the horn... HONNNNKKKK HONNNNKKKK. I'm puzzled, but then I see that he's stopped at the front gate trying to find a way in to ring a doorbell. I passed the truck at this point, so I'm not sure if he left it at the gate or found a way in. I heard him stop again behind me and HONNNKKKK, but I couldn't pay attention to that because I was about to hit a curve in the road....

When I hit the curve, I started thinking about how they oversimplified the rules in grade school: "ride bikes WITH the traffic, walk AGAINST the traffic". That may work on straight, flat, city streets, but out here in the country it ain't so simple. As I walked with the traffic around the curve, I realized I was on the wrong side, however I was on the inside of a curve, and worried that if I moved to the outside of the curve, I might get hit. But then there's the sun... I'm walking into the sun, low in the sky, so someone approaching from behind me is driving into the sun and probably can't see someone walking. So I moved over. But then I got to the shadows, and started to smell something...

Of course, this is near the small cemetery on Bayou Blvd., so my mind tried not to think much more about that smell. I looked in the ditch to see if there were a dead animal laying around, but didn't see one. At this point, I just picked up my pace a little.... safely past the smell, I started thinking about math...

I actually started doing mental math, just simple multiplication problems, in my head. 2x1 = 2, 2x4 = 8, 8x6 = 48, 9x8=72, 50x9 = 450, 450x2 = 900... at this point I couldn't help but laugh at myself - and besides, I couldn't go to four digits.

About that time, I realized this would all make a good blog entry, so I started thinking about all the stuff I had thought about...

Put it in context...

Today, I thought I was having a bad day... until 11:10 a.m.

I got mad about some things that seemed important to me at the time... screw-ups on my part, with help from others...

A couple weeks ago, I ordered a new iPhone on my lovely wife's behalf... she was due for an upgrade, and had birthday money she wanted to spend. Being the dutiful husband that I am, after dragging my feet a while, I managed to get to the AT&T store and order it. I've been watching for a ship notice from the Big A,

After some discussion at Best Buy last night, where they have samples out to look at, we came to the conclusion that I had made a mistake and ordered a different color than what she wanted. We went to the AT&T store and tried to correct that mistake, but this morning I got an email from them saying they had cancelled the order because I had duplicated my previous one. Yes, I had actually ordered the correct one to begin with... so I got mad - at myself, at my wife and at the people who did what they thought was the right thing (of course, cancelling the original order because I had goofed up doesn't seem like the right thing, and probably wasn't what they were trying to do). It all began with my mistaken belief I had made a mistake... ironic, no?

Second thing that was getting to me this morning was something I can only blame on myself... I was mowing the yard and managed to mow over the wiring to the fountain in our pond. When I put that wire in, I left it exposed where I thought it would never be seen - below the waterline of the pond. Of course, the pond level has dropped over the summer, so the wire has been visible for a few months. I even got tangled up in it with the weedeater once... you'd think I would have given that a little more thought. Nope... just left it laying there. So this morning, it had worked its way down under some leaves and I didn't see it until it was in the process of getting shredded by my John Deere... I said some things I shouldn't have, thought others... thankfully the neighbors' small childreen weren't anywhere within earshot.

So my attitude wasn't really very chipper after that... had a dark cloud hanging over me as I continued my yard work. In the context I've painted, you're probably thinking "yeah, Bry - you're an idiot but probably deserve to be mad - at least at your self...".

I was in the front yard raking up a pile of grass clippings when I heard it... a loud, sharp "thunk" followed by a quick screech of tires. I know that sound, and have heard it before. Sometimes the screech precedes the impact, but I was almost positive it was a car wreck... Our house is only a quarter-mile or so from Highway 146, and with the breeze out of the east sound carried pretty well. I looked at the time - 11:10.

A few minutes later - maybe 4 or 5 - I heard the first siren, then another and another and another. I knew, with no tires skidding before impact, that it would probably be a bad one, so the sirens only confirmed what I suspected. At 11:30 I heard the unmistakeable sound of what I was expecting next - LifeFlight. It passed to the north of our house, and turned south on approach to the scene. I could see it because it had to orbit to find the right spot to land.

I have no idea who was involved, or what the cause of the accident was. At this point, all I know is that my day isn't going too badly. I knew my family was safe: Cody's car was in the driveway and he was in the house, Stacey was at a workshop, Taylor is in College Station and Collin is in Dallas to watch the Aggies BTHO Arkansas.

For at least one person, and maybe more, today is going much worse. Will it be the day they face eternity? Will their life change radically because of injury or expense of the accident? Will a family grieve the loss of a loved one? Which one of them would give anything to have my problems?

My context is often too short-sighted... I am blessed in so many ways, and often fail to rise above the trivial things that give me pain or pleasure to put everything in an eternal context. I said a prayer for the folks involved - the drivers, passengers, 1st responders, even the pilot of the helicopter. I know God knows and we can only trust His mercy.

If you don't have a secure faith that you know where you will end up when you have that last "bad day", please don't wait to make that decision. And if  you do have that security, don't let any day be a "bad day"... keep everything in context. That is my continuing challenge and I pray I will learn to do better.