The Empty Nest

Well, it's official - the nest is empty...

Today, we helped Collin move back into the house in College Station. Stacey and I enjoyed spending time with him over the short break between his summer job at Sky Ranch and his senior year at A&M. It's hard to believe he's about to embark on the last year of college...my FB "today in history" has been full of flashbacks recently - to his freshman year, and even to Taylor's... Time really flies.

As the father of three sons, I'm very proud of everything they've each accomplished to this point. It's been 24 years of the "only" child (aka "the first-born"), then the "second" child (aka "the mini-me"), and then the "baby" (aka "the man-child"). Those labels mean different things to different people, but for me they point to the fact that they are three very unique individuals. While we may (temporarily) feel a sense of loss as this stage of our lives begins, I am sure that this role God called us to - parenting - is far from over.

Recently, I've been catching up on a task long overdue - converting old VHS tapes to DVD's. It's been a trip down memory lane, and a true reminder of the circle of life - loved ones young and old, hairlines long and short, waistlines thick and thin... It's just hard to adequately convey how blessed I feel to have been born into the circumstances which I was - parents and grandparents who loved each other and loved me as well, who taught me how to find my own way and trusted me to do it. I'm blessed by the fact that Christ knew me before I was even born, and had the perfect person picked out for me to spend the majority of my life with (over half of it already).

Stacey and I celebrated our 29th anniversary in June, but if you count the dating, we've been together 33 years. I can remember hearing about how you aren't supposed to build your relationship around the kids, because they'll be gone "one day"... and for us, that day is here. I am hopeful that we have done a good job of preparing for it... but I'm certain we will have lots of time to get better at it.

The Foreground

This evening, I was headed to church and rounded the corner to the view you see below...

We all appreciate a beautiful sunset, and this one was no exception. I snapped the picture, then continued on my way. As I drove, I thought about how this was not the most picturesque sunset I've captured. The roadway on which I traveled, the street signs and light poles nearby... the refinery in the distance. Nonetheless, I just loved taking it all in... the sky, the clouds... just a cool time of day.

As I approached my destination, I considered other angles but couldn't find a place from which to get a better picture... time was my enemy, as the quarry of this hunt steadily dropped below the tree line and other objects on the horizon. Those things which we refer to as the "foreground" of the image overtook the "subject" - the big fiery ball of burning hydrogen we call The Sun - as it fell out of sight.

I marveled at how the setting sun can be so moving that we really look past the foreground. We focus on the true subject ... much like looking at the Rocky Mountains. If you've ever been to Colorado, you know how futile it is to capture the experience with a camera (not that we haven't tried). That's because our attention, our focus, is drawn to the bigger picture...one not suited to a reproduction on film (or digital).

This week I've been reminded of how my life's challenges are really pretty small compared to others'. At a meeting, I rattled off the list of things I've been dealing with lately, then shortly learned of life-altering issues facing someone else. This person's situation is one of several I've known of in the last week or two. I realized quickly that I needed to regain my perspective of the big picture.

I am truly thankful for the blessed life I lead, regardless of the petty problems I face. When I focus on The Son... it all takes its proper place in the picture.

It's all just the foreground...

...

Trusting is the Easy Part

Lately we've been spending a lot of time focused on things that are ahead of us...

• Taylor's life has changed dramatically in the last couple of months with a graduation, wedding and starting a new job.
• Collin is in his second year of college and really starting to focus in on "what he wants to be when he grows up".
• Cody is now starting to look at colleges.
• My job is likely to be "in transition" soon, due to our company opening its brand new campus in Spring. Whether it's commuting two hours (or more) each day, or taking an assignment that keeps me in Baytown for a while longer, is still unclear.
• Stacey is finding challenges in each year's new crop of 4th graders, and inevitably looks ahead to testing season.

For most of my life, I've been able to quote Proverbs 3:5-6, and usually it's the King James version that I remember best:

Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, and lean not unto thine own understanding.
In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and he shall direct thy paths.

I like other translations because they get rid of the thees and thous... here it is in the New American Standard:

Trust in the Lord with all your heart
And do not lean on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He will make your paths straight.

Most translations are similar... and this isn't really about the translation. It's about the part of those verses that I usually put the emphasis on in my own life... and, more importantly, the part I don't.

I have always had an innate trust in God's hand in my life. From my youth, I have been able to see his direction more often than not... there have been some noteworthy exceptions, but that's a subject for another day. I usually find peace in the ability to let go of the details - that's the "lean not on your own understanding" part. I remember hearing the illustration of "laying it at the foot of the cross" and that has always reminded me who I should trust - Jesus, the one who gave his life for me.

Tonight I had a bit of an epiphany when thinking about how I've lived up to that second verse... I don't do so well at the acknowleging part. "In all your ways acknowledge Him"...

ALL... YOUR... WAYS...

Acknowledge Him.

Some translations say "submit to Him"... a slightly different spin on it. To be honest - I think I have an easier time doing that. Submitting, like trusting, is more passive; whereas, acknowledging is active. It requires I actualy DO SOMETHING. I don't feel as good about that one.

In all my ways, do I acknowledge him? Absolutely not... I know I'm not alone in taking God's presence in my life for granted, and in forgetting to give him the credit for everything He does. That doesn't excuse my failure.

So this is my challenge: to be more diligent in acknowledging him... all the time, in every way. After all, there are a lot of paths ahead of me and my family... and the straigher they are, the better.

An Idle Mind...

Tonight I had the pleasure of walking with my lovely wife... we're trying to re-establish a healthy exercise routine that we haven't been able to stick to since moving out of Parkwood. I've been walking on the treadmill, but I'll take the upgraded scenery any chance I get... have you seen my wife?

So you can imagine my disappointment when she said she was going to "let me" finish the walk while she went in to get supper ready. On the one hand, I'm all about the supper part... we put the lasagna in the oven before we left and I knew we'd be eating well. But without her, I had no one to talk to (or more accurately, listen to).

Now you may think that last comment was a shot at her being talkative... but you'd be wrong. If  you've ever walked or run,  you know that carrying on a conversation while doing so can add a significant cardio component due to having to move that much more air. My lung capacity is pretty puny, so having someone to listen to works great! I keep my end up, but more importantly, it keeps my brain engaged in something productive.

Without her, my mind was left utterly vacant. I realized this after about 30 seconds... On the treadmill, I mindlessly watch Netflix. I have a couple of TV shows that run about 41-43 minutes, so it times out pretty nicely with my 3 mile distance goal. Absent the video and audio feeds, my mind was left to fend for itself.

So my first thought was literally "what should I think about?"

I considered reciting scripture, but that didn't work. I started with John 1:1, but couldn't get it quite right. I had seen it mentioned in a story in today's paper, about the oak tree that was sculpted into an eagle at St. John's Catholic Church. Then I got distracted by the dogs...

All the dogs.... it seems everybody on our little walking loop has a dog. I saw big dogs and little dogs, stray dogs and dogs behind fences... some I could see, some I could just hear. I was thinking about all the dogs, but then I heard a UPS truck...

That UPS guy drives up to a neighbor's house and leaves a package. As he's walking back to the truck, I hear the neighbor open the front door (he didn't wait) and say "thanks!". He asked if her last name was "Doe" and she said "yes", then he replied that he wasn't sure of the address... really??? Just left the package. Then he went down the street a couple houses and stopped again. This time he lays on the horn... HONNNNKKKK HONNNNKKKK. I'm puzzled, but then I see that he's stopped at the front gate trying to find a way in to ring a doorbell. I passed the truck at this point, so I'm not sure if he left it at the gate or found a way in. I heard him stop again behind me and HONNNKKKK, but I couldn't pay attention to that because I was about to hit a curve in the road....

When I hit the curve, I started thinking about how they oversimplified the rules in grade school: "ride bikes WITH the traffic, walk AGAINST the traffic". That may work on straight, flat, city streets, but out here in the country it ain't so simple. As I walked with the traffic around the curve, I realized I was on the wrong side, however I was on the inside of a curve, and worried that if I moved to the outside of the curve, I might get hit. But then there's the sun... I'm walking into the sun, low in the sky, so someone approaching from behind me is driving into the sun and probably can't see someone walking. So I moved over. But then I got to the shadows, and started to smell something...

Of course, this is near the small cemetery on Bayou Blvd., so my mind tried not to think much more about that smell. I looked in the ditch to see if there were a dead animal laying around, but didn't see one. At this point, I just picked up my pace a little.... safely past the smell, I started thinking about math...

I actually started doing mental math, just simple multiplication problems, in my head. 2x1 = 2, 2x4 = 8, 8x6 = 48, 9x8=72, 50x9 = 450, 450x2 = 900... at this point I couldn't help but laugh at myself - and besides, I couldn't go to four digits.

About that time, I realized this would all make a good blog entry, so I started thinking about all the stuff I had thought about...

Put it in context...

Today, I thought I was having a bad day... until 11:10 a.m.

I got mad about some things that seemed important to me at the time... screw-ups on my part, with help from others...

A couple weeks ago, I ordered a new iPhone on my lovely wife's behalf... she was due for an upgrade, and had birthday money she wanted to spend. Being the dutiful husband that I am, after dragging my feet a while, I managed to get to the AT&T store and order it. I've been watching for a ship notice from the Big A,

After some discussion at Best Buy last night, where they have samples out to look at, we came to the conclusion that I had made a mistake and ordered a different color than what she wanted. We went to the AT&T store and tried to correct that mistake, but this morning I got an email from them saying they had cancelled the order because I had duplicated my previous one. Yes, I had actually ordered the correct one to begin with... so I got mad - at myself, at my wife and at the people who did what they thought was the right thing (of course, cancelling the original order because I had goofed up doesn't seem like the right thing, and probably wasn't what they were trying to do). It all began with my mistaken belief I had made a mistake... ironic, no?

Second thing that was getting to me this morning was something I can only blame on myself... I was mowing the yard and managed to mow over the wiring to the fountain in our pond. When I put that wire in, I left it exposed where I thought it would never be seen - below the waterline of the pond. Of course, the pond level has dropped over the summer, so the wire has been visible for a few months. I even got tangled up in it with the weedeater once... you'd think I would have given that a little more thought. Nope... just left it laying there. So this morning, it had worked its way down under some leaves and I didn't see it until it was in the process of getting shredded by my John Deere... I said some things I shouldn't have, thought others... thankfully the neighbors' small childreen weren't anywhere within earshot.

So my attitude wasn't really very chipper after that... had a dark cloud hanging over me as I continued my yard work. In the context I've painted, you're probably thinking "yeah, Bry - you're an idiot but probably deserve to be mad - at least at your self...".

I was in the front yard raking up a pile of grass clippings when I heard it... a loud, sharp "thunk" followed by a quick screech of tires. I know that sound, and have heard it before. Sometimes the screech precedes the impact, but I was almost positive it was a car wreck... Our house is only a quarter-mile or so from Highway 146, and with the breeze out of the east sound carried pretty well. I looked at the time - 11:10.

A few minutes later - maybe 4 or 5 - I heard the first siren, then another and another and another. I knew, with no tires skidding before impact, that it would probably be a bad one, so the sirens only confirmed what I suspected. At 11:30 I heard the unmistakeable sound of what I was expecting next - LifeFlight. It passed to the north of our house, and turned south on approach to the scene. I could see it because it had to orbit to find the right spot to land.

I have no idea who was involved, or what the cause of the accident was. At this point, all I know is that my day isn't going too badly. I knew my family was safe: Cody's car was in the driveway and he was in the house, Stacey was at a workshop, Taylor is in College Station and Collin is in Dallas to watch the Aggies BTHO Arkansas.

For at least one person, and maybe more, today is going much worse. Will it be the day they face eternity? Will their life change radically because of injury or expense of the accident? Will a family grieve the loss of a loved one? Which one of them would give anything to have my problems?

My context is often too short-sighted... I am blessed in so many ways, and often fail to rise above the trivial things that give me pain or pleasure to put everything in an eternal context. I said a prayer for the folks involved - the drivers, passengers, 1st responders, even the pilot of the helicopter. I know God knows and we can only trust His mercy.

If you don't have a secure faith that you know where you will end up when you have that last "bad day", please don't wait to make that decision. And if  you do have that security, don't let any day be a "bad day"... keep everything in context. That is my continuing challenge and I pray I will learn to do better.

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